hyperbole - story

my friend is so cheap he dont even shower,he say he is saving water .When i ask him to let me borrow money he be paying me in pennies .He wears the same shirt everyday for the past 6 months . When he asks a girl out in a date he be taking them to jack in the box and makes them order off the dollar menu plus he makes the girl pay for the order ,He orders a water cup to not pay for a soda and shares the water cup .the end of the date he takes the water cup home and uses it every day .